Love is no little thing, but there are some little ways to show love.
For some reason, in times past, (those times being all the moments that have lead up to this morning), I've felt that there were more important tasks to do other than playing with my kids. When the Bug was little, he would bring toys up to me at my desk and I would remove them and tell him to go play by himself. I find myself doing that with Tiny now too. The Bug is six and well past the age of bringing toys up to my desk; more truthfully, he's probably just learned over the years that there is no point in bringing toys to Mommy's desk because she will just remove them and tell him to go play alone. Who wants to recieve that kind of treatment time after time? I know I wouldn't. And yet, I bestow it upon those that I love more than anyone else. It's not love. Selfishness is not love.
Of late I have begun allowing the Tiny to climb up into my lap while I'm doing my "oh so important blog searching" things online. I find myself getting frustrated with the fact that he wants to get into everything on my desk. Isn't it enough that he's just up on my lap at all?! Of course not. I get frustrated and remove him from my lap. He tries to climb back up and I forcefully tell him, "No!". Again, selfishness is not love.
I am selfish. There is no reason why I can't stop my mindless, empty, meaningless search for "interesting" information in the blogosphere to spend time with the two beings on earth with whom I have been entrusted with rearing. None whatsoever.
Does the amount of selfishness I find myself possessing equate to a lack of love for my children? I hope not. Better question asked... Can I stop, what has turned into years of selfishness, now and reverse any effects it has had on my children thus far? I hope so.
Doesn't I John tell us that God is love? Aren't we supposed to be more like Him? There are many examples of love (especially a mother's love) in the Bible. I hope to find them and share them here.
Love. I have it for my children (and others) and am going to do my best to start showing it, in little and big ways, to my Bug and Tiny and to those around me.